The gift of doubt
Fourth Sunday of Easter ● April 21, 2024
Rev. Jeff Wells © 2024
You can view the full worship video recording at:
Scripture Reading: John 20:19-29 (Inclusive Bible)
The reading text is provided at the end of this sermon.
When Mary sees Jesus in the garden, she does not know who he is. She supposes him to be the gardener. Perhaps Mary could not see him well through her tears. Perhaps Jesus appeared as a spiritual apparition – not quite all there in a physical body. Whatever the possible explanations, the Jesus she experienced in her vision did not look like the Jesus she had known so long and so well. This initial inability to recognize Jesus occurs in many of the dramatic stories of his appearances to his disciples and others after his death on a cross. We heard a similar experience in the story of the disciples on the road to Emmaus last Sunday.
In today’s story, Jesus suddenly shows up in the room where the disciples are hiding. Somehow, we are told, he was able to get through a locked door. Even in this part of the story, Jesus has to prove who he is by showing off the wounds in his hands and side. So, it was not only Thomas who needed to see evidence before he believed Jesus had risen from death. All of the disciples needed to see before they would believe.
So, what’s going on behind this story? Why did the author write it this way? To answer those questions, we need to see this story in the context in which it was written. The author of the Gospel of John was not one of Jesus’ disciples, although he was influenced by the stories passed down orally and in writing from the disciples and later followers and storytellers. This was the last of the four canonical Gospels to be written and was composed 60-70 years after Jesus’ death. So when Jesus says to Thomas, “You’ve become a believer because you saw me. Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed,” the author intended that last sentence to be heard by followers or potential followers of Jesus who were around the movement in the years after 90 of the Common Era.
I do not doubt the reality that Jesus’ closest original followers continued to feel his spirit among them, both in the immediate aftermath and long after Jesus’ death. But I do doubt that this story and the other stories of post-resurrection appearances are literally true. I could be wrong, but I doubt it. I imagine these stories were written with a genuine desire to explain the powerful sense that Jesus’ first followers had that he was still with them in spirit, though no longer in body. And they wanted others to feel that they, too, could perceive not only Jesus’ teachings, but also could experience Jesus’ powerful loving presence in their lives.
Let’s back up a bit and consider the emphasis on Thomas’s doubt in this story. When the disciples claim, “We have seen Jesus!”, Thomas says, “I will never believe it without putting my finger in the nail marks and my hand into the spear wound.” He is often derisively referred to as “Doubting Thomas.” But I don’t think we should see our friend, Tom, as inferior to the other disciples, in any way, simply because of his doubt. In fact, I appreciate Thomas’s doubt. In this story, Jesus does not say there is anything wrong with seeing and then believing. He simply says it’s also a blessing to believe without seeing.
I think we need to doubt and to embrace uncertainty. Doubt and uncertainty are assets. Without doubt and questioning, human beings would never have evolved. The French people would never have revolted against absolute monarchy. The North American colonists could never have challenged King George III. Scientific, intellectual, and artistic advances would be unimaginable without doubt, uncertainty, and questioning.
Unfortunately, the movement Jesus started has so often and in so many ways been corrupted and diminished. Christianity evolved into a religion of the Roman Empire, more than a movement of the Judean teacher of love and prophet of justice. So, we have inherited a lot of baggage that has nothing to do with the way of Jesus, but everything to do with patriarchal and hierarchical structures of power and authority and with a portrayal of God as male, domineering, vengeful, and violent who demands blind, unquestioning faith. Of course, this view of God has been used to justify all manner of domination, oppression, and exploitation.
I feel like my whole life as an active lay person in the church and then as a member of the ordained clergy, has been a continuing evolution away from the majority expressions of Christianity evolved from the fourth century onward. I continue to grow toward a more open, loving and expansive embrace of Jesus’ teachings and example and a much more intense feeling of God in my life, moment to moment.
Along with many Christians across the spectrum we, as a faith community, have had to and still are finding our way out of the deformations of Jesus’ original intentions that have caused Christians to do so much harm in the name of Jesus. Our ability to live with doubt and uncertainty is essential to gaining a deep connection with the Spirit of God among us. Without doubt, our faith would be blind and shallow. Doubt helps us to move in more healthy directions. And the very good news is that God is still with us – and we are able to experience God with us even more so – when we let go of certainty.
Doubt and uncertainty helped me and the Church of the Village and its predecessors to adopt a more progressive Christian understanding. Doubt has allowed us to build a more robust understanding of what we mean by “progressive Christianity” with the help of open, relational, and process theology. For myself, I believe exploring an open and relational theological stance provides a basis for an openness to my continual becoming and the continual becoming of our community and the wider world. I am not claiming that open and relational theology is my new “certainty.” And I would certainly not claim that the open and relational theology I embrace today is the end of the journey. It is just the best expression of God and faith I have discovered so far.
I understand the desire for certainty and stability. Not knowing or being able to predict what’s coming can be scary. People often have a desire to keep everything just the same out of a fear of the unknown. That’s true even when the known and familiar seem pretty bad. The fear is that the unknown might turn out to be worse. The grasping for certainty and stability is the basis of conservative expressions of Christianity and conservative politics as well. We see it expressed in the desire to “Make America Great Again” – in other words, to go back to the way things were in some imaginary “good old days.”
Yet this goes completely against the reality that each of us and everything that exists is always changing. There is no avoiding it. The great novelist, Octavia Butler, wrote in The Parable of the Sower, “All that you touch you change. All that you change changes you. The only lasting truth is Change.” Change is a foundational characteristic of everything that is. God changes us, we change each other, and all of us change God.
And we can’t ever know for sure what’s coming next. Even God does not know or control the future. But God does offer us every moment the best possible options for moving into a future that promotes love, beauty, and goodness. We have to do our best to listen and respond – and then co-create the future with God.
Diane and I have had to confront the reality of change and uncertainty a lot since her diagnosis with neuroendocrine cancer in 2017. We couldn’t be certain how well the surgery would work. With each treatment she has gone through, we could have no certainty about whether the treatment would work or for how long. And there is no way to predict how long Diane might have left to live. That is a hard uncertainty to live with. But we do our best to make the most of the life we have together, finding our way on the journey with the support of friends, good neighbors, this community, and, of course, God’s never-failing love.
The Church of the Village is in a period of big change, transitions, and uncertainty. But what we can hold onto is the sure, unwavering, and unconditional love of God. So, I encourage us to embrace the gifts of doubt and uncertainty, for in them lies the possibility for growth, adventure, creativity, and beauty. Yes, bad things happen. But there is also the possibility of very good things happening. And it’s not binary. Good things happen in the midst of bad things. Even in this age of uncertainty over multiple wars, political divisions and violence, ecological crisis, and much more, there is still and always the possibility that enough people will listen well enough to God’s call and inspiration that we will find a better way forward together. There is no guarantee, but I don’t doubt the possibility. In fact, I depend on it. So, let’s work together and support one another in living life as fully as possible and acting in a spirit of hope, joy, justice, and love.
John 20:19-29 (Inclusive Bible)
Three days after the authorities crucified Jesus,
early in the morning, Mary of Magdala went to the tomb and discovered that
Jesus’ body was missing. A little while later, she saw a figure standing before her,
who she mistook for the gardener. However, when he spoke her name,
she experienced him as Jesus, her beloved rabbi.
In the evening of that same day, the first day of the week,
the doors were locked in the room where the disciples were,
for fear of the Temple authorities.
Jesus came and stood among them and said,
“Peace be with you.”
Having said this, the savior showed them the marks of crucifixion.
The disciples were filled with joy when they saw Jesus,
who said to them again,
“Peace be with you. As Abba God sent me, so I am sending you.”
After saying this, Jesus breathed on them and said,
“Receive the Holy Spirit.
If you forgive anyone’s sins, they are forgiven.
If you retain anyone’s sins, they are retained.”
It happened that one of the Twelve,
Thomas – nicknamed Didymus, or “Twin” –
was absent when Jesus came.
The other disciples kept telling him, “We’ve seen Jesus!”
Thomas’ answer was,
“I’ll never believe it without putting my finger in the nail marks
and my hand into the spear wound.”
On the eighth day, the disciples were once more in the room,
and this time Thomas was with them.
Despite the locked doors, Jesus came and stood before them, saying,
“Peace be with you.”
Then, to Thomas, Jesus said,
“Take your finger and examine my hands. Put your hand into my side.
Don’t persist in your unbelief, but believe!”
Thomas said in response,
“My Savior and my God!”
Jesus then said,
“You’ve become a believer
because you saw me.
Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”